Written by Jennifer Moglia
Four years ago this month, Los Angeles post-hardcore band Touche Amore released “Stage Four.” The title was fitting for a few reasons, not just that it was the group’s fourth full-length album, following 2009’s “...To the Beat of a Dead Horse”, 2011’s “Parting the Sea Between Brightness and Me”, and 2013’s “Is Survived By”, but also as a tribute to vocalist Jeremy Bolm’s mother, who had passed away from cancer in 2014.
It was met with great responses from fans and critics alike, the majority of which really connected with the feelings Bolm sang about on the record. It made waves on multiple US Billboard charts, peaking at 168 on the Top 200, 18 on Independent Albums, 16 on Alternative Albums, 6 on Hard Rock Albums, 21 on Rock Albums, 9 on Tastemaker Albums, and 3 on Vinyl Albums.
I discovered this album one year ago today, when my friends played it for me in the car on a road trip, and I immediately fell in love with the record as well as Touche Amore as a whole. Having just gotten into hardcore and hardcore-adjacent bands, I hadn’t really heard anything like Touche before, and the mix of such vulnerable, fearlessly emotional lyrics with hard-hitting deliveries and dreamy-sounding instrumentals had me hooked right off the bat.
With the release of the California rockers’ fifth studio album, “Lament” coming on October 9th, I decided to take a look back at the record that started it all for me as a fan of this band, and one that I hold very close to my heart. Although many will say “Stage Four” is an album about grief and loss, the messages behind the songs on this album go a lot deeper than what can be heard on the surface.
Things start off with “Flowers and You”, serving as an exposition of sorts to the story that Bolm will be telling throughout the next 35 minutes. His vocals here are incredibly strong, really getting across that initial gut-wrenching feeling when impending loss starts to sink in, knowing that you don’t have much time left with someone and trying not to take it for granted, all while preparing for what is to come.
I still get this indescribably magical feeling hearing the first few notes of this song, and this stretch of the first three songs on this album will forever be some of my favorite songs of all time, in addition to being some of my favorites on the album. It includes some of the record’s best lines, such as the first chorus, “I didn’t know / Just what to say / While watching you / Wither away.”
Things definitely don’t slow down on “New Halloween”, in which Bolm reflects on the loss and how it’s still affecting him after time has passed, asking, “how has it already been a year?” in the second verse. I listen to this second track a ton, especially during fall; for a song so heartbreaking, it has one of the more fast-paced instrumentals and keeps you interested the entire time.
One of the more introspective tracks on “Stage Four”, fourth and final single “Rapture”, refers to the Christian belief that the souls of those who have passed are taken up to God to be judged, often depicted as the person in question simply disappearing. Bolm really plays into this theme, singing, “Like a wave / Like the rapture / Something you love is gone / Someone you love is gone”, all before the loud instruments quiet down for a muted conclusion, the song closing with the lyrics, “I saved the worst for last.”
Themes of religion are re-visited on “Displacement”, the album’s second single, in which Bolm explores how his faith has wavered since his mother’s death, but how he knows he has to keep hope alive because that’s what she would have wanted. “You died at 69 / With a body full of cancer / I asked your god, “How could you?” / But I never heard an answer” is how this track begins, jumping right into the narrator questioning his beliefs after his world is turned upside down.
He also alludes to signs that he has seen that make him want to have faith, like surviving a car accident and feeling as if his mother is watching over him, just like she always said that she would. Potentially one of the best lyrics on this album is found towards the end of the track, in which Bolm expresses, “I couldn’t worship the god that let her fall apart”, a feeling all-too-familiar to many of us who have lost loved ones as well.
“Benediction” and “Eight Seconds” mark the halfway point on this musical journey, with the first track including the “Benediction Prayer” heard in so many Christian churches; “May the Lord, Mighty God, Bless and keep you forever, Grant you peace, Perfect peace, Courage in every endeavor.” While track five is where things slow down a bit, “Eight Seconds” grabs you and won’t let you go until it’s finished with you, named after a venue of the same name in Gainesville, Florida, where Touche Amore was playing a show when Bolm received the call from his brother with the news that their mother had passed away.
“Eight Seconds” almost goes hand in hand with “New Halloween”, uncovering the reason why our narrator feels so guilty and upset about his mother’s passing. Track two mentions this with the line, “I was told that you wouldn’t have known / Told myself I was where you’d want me to be / But it’s not that easy” and “I was told you were half asleep / Told myself you would be proud of me”, and it’s clarified in track six’s ending; “She passed away about an hour ago, while you were on stage living the dream.”
According to the band, the goal for lead single “Palm Dreams”, one of the more melodic tracks on “Stage Four”, was to make listeners ask the questions they’ve never asked their loved ones before it’s too late. It’s evident that their hometown was a huge influence on this song as well, with references ranging from “going 65 on the 5”, to “all the palm trees placed where they shouldn’t be”, to the Californian “ocean breeze”, as Bolm asks repeatedly, “what was it that brought you west?”
Another upbeat instrumental with darker lyrics comes to fruition on “Softer Spoken”, a track about how grieving can change over time, “vacationing somewhere in between a city named catharsis and the other called empty.” The catchy instruments are the soundtrack to Bolm’s search for peace and struggle to feel in control, as things continue to slip away.
“Posing Holy” returns to the ongoing theme of religion on this record, discussing how people who have lost loved ones may use becoming religious as a coping mechanism as they deal with the pain; Bolm explains that he and the many others are “focused on holding onto / All that we have got / While we’re drifting slowly and posing holy for all that we are not.” This act of suddenly becoming spiritual is referred to as “a rite of passage” and “a torch to carry” for those who take the path, similar to ideas expressed in “I’ll Be Your Host”, the second single off of 2020’s “Lament.”
Track 10, “Water Damage” is about the memories that come to mind after losing someone, whether it’s them spilling a glass of water on their nightstand, taking the wrong medication, or watching television in the kitchen. Bolm’s storytelling is at its best on this song, including details and descriptions so vivid that you’ll feel as though you lived through these memories with him, and are trying to recover as well.
“Stage Four”’s original closing track and third single, “Skyscraper”, featuring Julien Baker, is one of my favorite ending tracks of all time, as listeners see Bolm reach his closure, complete with the last voicemail he had received from his mother. He describes taking her to New York City a few months before she passed, a place she had always wanted to go, telling her that, in his mind, the city belongs to her, and he’ll always remember her in the bright lights of the buildings.
Although that’s technically the end of the album, I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention “Gather”, the bonus track on the deluxe version of the album. While oftentimes bonus tracks added on for deluxe albums can feel shoehorned in or awkward, this one fits in perfectly, taking on the same characteristics as the rest of the record, both sonically and lyrically, describing how Bolm manages to keep it all together when he is reminded of all that has happened.
At its core, this is an album about recovery and growth. Sure, many will say the main themes are grief and loss, and I won’t argue that at all, but, at least for me, “Stage Four” is about so much more than what happens when it feels like the world is ending; it’s about how the world doesn’t actually end, how we pick up the pieces in the aftermath, and the people and places we carry with us afterward.
If you take any recommendations from any of my articles on this website, please let it be to listen to this album. Listen to the whole thing, in order, with the lyrics in front of you, and definitely let me know what you think by tweeting us @lgndsoftmrw.
You can support Touche Amore by streaming “Stage Four” everywhere you listen to music, of course, as well as by ordering some “Lament” merch, including a few different vinyl variants, shorts, water bottles, shirts, and more. There’s also some “Stage Four” merch still up if you fall in love with this album and feel the need to own a million things with the cover art on it the way that I did, including shirts, flags, puzzles, and vinyl; all of this is available on their website.
You can keep up with this incredible band and get all the latest updates on the new album by following them on Twitter @ToucheAmore. Be sure to check back here on October 9th for a full review of the record as well!