Written by Jennifer Moglia
When asking someone what their favorite album of all time is, their mind usually goes in (at least) one million different directions. For some, it’s simply the music they enjoy the most, while others focus on a personal connection or memory, or even lyrics or stories that mean a lot to them.
I don’t particularly like making generalized, sweeping statements, but if I had to choose a favorite album of all time, the closest I could come to making that decision without rattling off five or ten titles would be to name “Springtime and Blind” by Fiddlehead. To me, this album hits on all cylinders; its musical style is unique and super enjoyable, the cohesive story told throughout will take you on a rollercoaster, and frontman Pat Flynn’s lyrics are heartbreaking and heart-filling all at once.
Made up of members of Basement, Have Heart, and more, Fiddlehead was dubbed a punk/hardcore/alternative super-group the minute they started releasing music, and rightfully so. The passionate lyricism and hardcore influence of Have Heart fused with the pure emotion and catchy choruses Basement was known for, combining to form an eclectic sound that couldn’t quite be contained into a genre.
“Springtime and Blind” chronicles Flynn’s mixed feelings following the passing of his father, journeying through sadness, guilt, love, nostalgia, and more, from the perspectives of his mother, his late father, and, most frequently, through his own eyes. The death of a loved one is a difficult subject to write just one piece of art about, let alone an entire album, and that’s why it’s so impressive that Fiddlehead pulls it off so masterfully.
The reason why the band’s debut full-length is such a hard-hitter, musically and emotionally, is because it’s not just about death and grief; sure, those things are a catalyst of sorts for the emotions discussed on the record, but they’re not the center of attention. “Springtime and Blind” is more about the events that follow the initial loss, and how that loss changes the people affected.
Starting the album is “Spousal Loss”, which serves as an exposition for the rest of the album, introducing the narrator and their current emotions; the title seems to be a reference to Flynn’s mother, who experienced the titular loss when her husband passed. The opening lyrics of “You lie awake to pass the time / Lose all your love? Want some of mine? / Let down again by the hands of God? / Got none to hold? I’ll give you mine” immediately draw listeners in, and truly convey the weight of the feelings Flynn has for his mother.
The repeated line, “All your loss of love, just leave it on me” finishes track one, transitioning perfectly into “Poem You”, which Flynn said in an interview with FADER Magazine is about his father’s “poetic presence.” Lyrically, this song discusses trying to hold on to someone that you’ve lost, whether it be talking to their ghost or sleeping with their clothes.
“Poem You” also includes the final voicemail message that Flynn had received from his father, an incredibly personal touch that really ties the track together. Each line does an incredible job of painting a vivid picture for the listener, making them feel as if they’ve lost the person who brings color to their lives, which is exactly what the narrator is experiencing.
Track three, “USMA”, appears to discuss Flynn’s father’s time in the military, with U.S.M.A. standing for United States Marine Academy, better known as West Point. While a lot of the lyrics make direct reference to this, such as “See you in young West Point soldiers”, much of the song focuses on themes of fleeting youth and nostalgia, present in lines like “I stay, and I shake / I age, and I wait / For the hands I used to call / My home” and “Wait right here as I get older / The weight’s right here all on my shoulders.”
While “USMA” was a bit more mellow, things come back full force on “Tidal Waves”, seeing Flynn’s well-known aggressive vocal delivery pairs with somber lyrics to create a complete visceral listening experience. These lyrics explore a less nostalgic and much darker side of loss, with the frontman singing about how he is “in a race to the grave to embrace the one [he] truly loved” and that his “blue, cold gloom has [him] forever consumed with doom in [his] room.”
For as much of this album is about Flynn’s father, mother, and their relationship, “Tidal Waves” is more centered around the singer’s own emotions of loneliness and isolation as a result of the loss, This theme continues into track five, “Head Hands”, another darker song lyrically which sees the narrator asking, “How long will I feel this way? / How long will I think this way? / How long will I sleep this way?”
The line “Turn in moonlight / Burn in sunlight” seems to be a direct reference to the closing track, “Widow in the Sunlight”, and while the latter sees Flynn finding some sort of peace or closure, he is still far from it in “Head Hands.” At this point, the narrator has hit rock bottom in the grieving process, as the heart-wrenching lyrics, “Pain on Monday through Sunday and over and over / With my head in my hands” ring out over and over as the song draws to a close.
“Rejoice” begins with a variation of Psalm 118:24 which can be found in the Bible; “This is the day the Lord has made / We should truly rejoice in it and be glad.” This phrase is followed by more voicemail clips, before Flynn asks repeatedly, “Rejoice - but how long? / Rejoice - but how come?”, seemingly questioning why his faith is directing him to be jubilant when such tragic things have happened to him.
Up next is “Lay Low”, once again touching on concepts of temporary youth and nostalgia. The song opens with the narrator admitting that, in his younger years, he never quite knew how to live in the moment or appreciate the people around him, feeling as if the joyful experience of being young was wasted on him.
As the track progresses, Flynn becomes gradually more overwhelmed, especially in the final sequence; “Watch your kids grow - see them leave home / In a breeze without ease, feel your throat choke / Watch your friends go - see your hair grow / Black to grey in a day and see yourself old / It’s too much for me / I gotta lay low.” The event of a death in the family can often bring up these stresses that one’s own life is moving too quickly, and Fiddlehead captures those worries perfectly here.
Similar to “Poem You”, “My World” sees Flynn reminiscing on his father in the physical ways that he still exists, expressed in the lines, “All you colored shirts hang just as you had left / And you office door’s closed, just as you had said / All your Dylan tapes stay unplayed and go untouched / And your poetry books are closed and collecting dust.” It’s almost as if, if only for a moment, our narrator can pretend that his father is still there, and that nothing has changed; after all, his shirts are still hung up and his office door has been left untouched.
The second half of “My World” shows Flynn’s frustration rising to the top, as others tell him that he will feel better if he cleans up or throws away his father’s belongings. The final stretch of the song reaches new heights emotionally and sonically, as he reacts to this suggestion.
“4/17/70”, the penultimate track on this record, is listed as an instrumental but is described on the band’s Bandcamp page as “Jane Barry Flynn, on March 17th, 2017 - retelling the Story of Richard Joseph Flynn’s return to the United States From active duty in the Vietnam War on April 17th of 1970.” The inclusion of this recording on the album is incredibly touching, making listeners feel like they’re right there in the living room with the Flynn family hearing this story being told for the millionth time and laughing along like it’s the first time everyone is hearing it; this song also serves as a perfect interlude into the closer.
My personal favorite Fiddlehead track, “Widow in the Sunlight” is a phenomenal final track. When asked about the title, Flynn told DigBoston, “My father passed away on the eve of March 30th, and it was a perfectly gorgeous spring...I remember one time, I pulled into my driveway and my mother was sitting in a chair in sunlight. She was sitting there, right in the middle of the lawn. And it was fucking sad. Seeing her sitting there, taking it in, the warmth, and yet you know she’s just terribly, terribly upset deep down. I’ll never forget it.”
While it’s unclear who exactly the track’s powerful lyrics are directed towards, they’re some of the most simple phrases on the record, and that’s what makes them hit so hard. Flynn sings, “May everything you lose come to find you / In sunlight, moonlight, this life, next life”, and whether it’s him speaking to his father, his father sending him a message from above, or either of them communicating with his widowed mother, it’s beautiful.
The addition of Code Orange’s Reba Meyers on backup vocals here was a perfect choice, and her passionate delivery builds Flynn’s words up that much more. The final lyrics that the listener hears before the record finishes are a perfect summation of the album’s message as a whole; “In the dark night, when the long life / Comes to grip tight, may it all find you / A love that was blind and love without time / May it all find you.”
While these lyrics will mean something different to everyone, particularly Flynn, who wrote them about something so deeply personal, I believe that they embody what “Springtime and Blind” is truly about: love that transcends life and death and time and space, love that lasts forever, in good times and bad, in “sunlight, moonlight, this life, next life.” Some may call “Springtime and Blind” an LP about death and grieving, but this closing track rightfully takes the focus off of those darker subjects and brings to attention what exists at the core of this story, at the core of any kind of grief; everlasting love.
“Springtime and Blind”, along with the rest of Fiddlehead’s discography (including their two most recent singles “Million Times” and “Heart to Heart” off of their upcoming album “Between the Richness” due out May 10th), is available wherever you stream music. You can support the band by picking up some merch (including album pre-orders and bundles) on their website or via Run For Cover Records, as well as following them on Twitter @FiddleheadUSA.
Feel free to follow us on Twitter as well @lgndsoftmrw. Most importantly, be sure to appreciate life while it’s still here.