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Rewind Reviews: Father John Misty’s Tale of Pessimistic Love, “I Love You Honeybear”, Turns Six


Written by Jennifer Moglia


It’s impossible to even mention Father John Misty without noting the controversy that so often surrounds him. He’s a polarizing figure, with fans who adore him and praise his genius and others who hate him, calling him snobby or claiming that they just “don’t get it.”


Born Josh Tillman, Misty’s pseudonym is an homage to (or dig at?) his religious background, growing up in a strict evangelical Christian family and even once considering ministry as a career path. He’s said in the past that the name has very little meaning and joked that he wishes he had picked a simpler name like “Dr. Fun”, but to an outsider, it could seem pretentious, even egotistical, for one to refer to themselves as a religious leader of sorts.


Tillman’s first album under the moniker after leaving the band Fleet Foxes in 2012, “Fear Fun”, was all over the place in all of the best possible ways. This debut could be described in a variety of ways; engaging, morbid, funny, charming...you name it.


If one thing was for sure, it’s that people loved it. They wanted more.


This success then brought about the seemingly-impossible task of surviving the sophomore slump, and Misty did more than survive it. His second full-length, “I Love You Honeybear”, is considered by many to be some of his best work. What makes it so special, though?


As mentioned earlier, Tillman doesn’t always rub people the right way. To those who just “don’t get” him, he could be seen as anything ranging from pessimistic and jaded to pedantic and pretentious to egotistical and insane.


Some have written off the musician’s more recent work, calling it hard to listen to or music you have to think about to understand, and with an album called “Pure Comedy” that bears a long 74 minute runtime (and song titles that feel even longer) as well as multiple tracks clocking in at over five and even ten minutes, who could blame them? Even the three songs coming in at roughly five minutes on his most recent effort, “God’s Favorite Customer”, seem a bit daunting, despite its runtime closer to 40 minutes much like his first two records.


So, when there’s an artist singing about things you don’t understand and frankly, don’t care enough to understand, what do you even really want them to sing about? What’s something that everyone can understand, even the most jaded, most pretentious people can understand? The answer is simple; love.


Tillman’s over-the-top persona as Misty is what makes “I Love You Honeybear” so amusing, and, ultimately, so perfect. The record entirely revolves around the period of time when he met, fell in love with, started dating, and eventually married his wife, Emma Elizabeth Garr (now Tillman).


There was something so human about this album that we will probably never see again from this artist, at least not while he’s still playing the part of Father John Misty. This 40-minute long love letter from a man to the love of his life is proof that even the most pessimistic, egotistical people will fall victim to falling in love, and it’ll make them the happiest they’ve ever been, whether they’d like to admit it or not.


The opener and title track already sets the scene for the rest of the album with the use of the pet name “Honeybear” used countless times throughout. Cheesy lines like “But don’t ever doubt this / My steadfast conviction / My love, you’re the one I want to watch the ship go down with” are sprinkled throughout, showing listeners that everyone can be struck by cupid’s arrow...even Father John Misty.


Themes of being able to persevere all because you have that one person to lean on are present throughout the record, and are introduced on the titular song, with phrases like “Everything is doomed / And nothing will be spared...But everything is fine / Don’t give into despair / ‘Cause I love you, Honeybear.” Track two, “Chateau Lobby #4 (in C for Two Virgins)” is similarly sticky-sweet, proclaiming in the second chorus, “People are boring / But you’re something else I can’t explain / Here, take my last name.”


The trope of the brooding bad boy who hates everyone and the soft, innocent girl who changes his mind could be called done to death (think “10 Things I Hate About You”), but Misty reinvents the concept on this song, with the lines “I haven’t hated / All the same things as somebody else / Since I remember / What’s going on for, uh, what are you doing with your whole life? / How about forever?” closing out the song on a third and final chorus. He’s been quoted saying that this song is all about running around Los Angeles with his future wife when they first met, taking their chances and letting down their walls for each other; I can’t think of anything more romantic.


Track three, “True Affection”, is perhaps the most sonically different from the traditional indie-folk sound fans had come to know from Misty on “Fear Fun” and on the rest of this album, but it’s one of my personal favorites on this record. While the lyrical content is about a relationship starting over text messages and emails and how frustrating trying to forge a connection that way can be, this story is reflected in how the song actually sounds, very electronically-influenced.


While “The Night Josh Tillman Came to Our Apt.”, “Nothing Good Ever Happens at the Goddamn Thirsty Crow”, and “Strange Encounter” acknowledge Misty’s darker side, his jealous tendencies, reckless way of living, and massive ego, “When You’re Smiling and Astride Me” returns back to this album’s roots of adoration for a partner. The nods towards his flawed past almost make the sweet moments that much sweeter.


“The Ideal Husband” is potentially the strongest song on “I Love You Honeybear”, combining that acknowledgement of Tillman’s flaws and selfishness with the moments when he realized that he couldn’t keep running and being scared of love, he just needed to let himself fall. After listing all of the “awful things” he’s done, from driving while drunk and high to neglecting friendships and “women [he’s] slept with” to buying gifts or telling jokes to please others, Tillman proclaims that he’s “finally succumbing.”


The final verse fuses both Tillman the loving life partner and Misty the persona perfectly, with the lyrics, “Let's put a baby in the oven! / Wouldn't I make the ideal husband?” closing the track. These lines suggest that he might not know exactly what he’s doing in terms of love and relationships (the phrase is “bun in the oven” and the image of physically putting a child in an oven is...off-putting, to say the least), but he’s willing to try, to be that “ideal husband.”


With a title that seems to poke fun at Bruce Springsteen, “Bored in the USA” is the closest thing we get to that pretentious character of Father John Misty on this album, presenting a biting commentary on life as a middle-class American. Phrases like “save me white Jesus” and “save me President Jesus” coupled with the bridge of “Oh, they gave me a useless education / And a subprime loan on a craftsman home / Keep my prescriptions filled / And now I can't get off / But I can kind of deal” make the musician’s stance on his country clear; whether you find it jaded and pedantic or insightful and artistic, it was certainly a statement-making lead single.


“I Love You Honeybear” closes with two of the most sentimental songs on the album; “Holy Shit”, which Tillman wrote on his wedding day, and “I Went to the Store One Day”, a storybook-esque re-telling of the couple’s life together, beginning on the night they met at the store and ending with them living out their golden years together. Both tracks see him leaving his worries about things like death and the universe behind, and allowing himself to enjoy a happy moments and eventually a happy life with the woman he loves.


There’s nothing quite as satisfying as watching a previously troubled character finally get their happy ending, and that’s exactly what this album is. “I Love You Honeybear” sees Josh Tillman ride off into the sunset with the girl of his dreams, allowing us to enjoy the jaded musings of Father John Misty for years to come, knowing that the man behind the persona is truly happy.


“I Love You Honeybear”, along with the rest of Father John Misty’s discography, is available wherever you listen to music; merch is available on his official online store, and you can follow him on Twitter @FatherJohnMisty. If you’re celebrating this album’s sixth birthday too, let us know by tweeting us @lgndsoftmrw!

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